In the Symposium Plato stated:
“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other half”.
Love has always been part of our life since the beginning of times. As centuries passed by, the sense of romance changed – following the lifestyle its seekers were conducting. For instance, the perception and the way of living love have been transformed in only 40 years, as parents and sons claim.
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Maria is 60 years old which means in 1980 she was exactly 20. With dreaming eyes, she is remembering those years when love wasn’t superficial and obvious. Coming from a small town in the North of Italy, she lived her love life with enthusiasm and lightness. “If someone was interested in you, he was doing everything he could to get to know you. The only phone we had was the one all the family was using so every time the phone was ringing it was a bump in the heart because you couldn’t know if the person that was calling was asking for you. Life was simpler and my generation was having fun with small and simple things. And so was love”.
People at the time knew how to swap you off your feet and make you feel the butterflies in your stomach. Romance could be defined as a real romance where even simple and obvious gestures were becoming a big thing if made by the person you cared about. Mobile phones indeed changed the way we are all living with each other, creating unnecessary problems and obstacles, often used not to fight for the one you love.
“If you liked someone you had to go and show him/her how much you cared and how much you wanted to be with him/her. I feel that nowadays these kids think that a message is enough to prove love” it simply isn’t, Maria continues “even with breakups – the bad side of love – it was all done with a more delicate touch, and usually broken relationships were easily sawed back on because of a really thick wire that was connecting the couple”
Today the main connection between people is surely the Internet. More often than we think, the younger generation is looking for their soulmates on platforms like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and Grindr. These apps became not only a huge business but also, they take up a very wide part in the life of the subscribers. Some more, some less, people put themselves out there writing to the users who liked them back and quite often, they go to blind dates not knowing who exactly is going to show up. These platforms are indeed surrounded by mystery and the uncertainties about the people behind the screen.
“Apart for being very dangerous, dating apps represent how superficial and unstable love is today. With this I am not saying that every single young couple is “ugly” – I have seen beautiful couples around – what I’m just saying is that It’s a bit sad thinking that people have come to this to find love” Maria stated.
How would a 1980’s love story sound like? Press play to listen!
Love in 2020 is completely dictated by the internet and the technologies. Relationships are all focused on the continued search of the other half via text and barely calls. It all became so superficial and unnatural, that even the protagonists of these days, are complaining about the way love is all around them.
In a modern era where romance seems lost in abbreviate words and Instagram stories, we asked young lovers, what do they think about love and relationships today.
Carolina, 23, is studying neuroscience. Like many young adults, she found herself in the “worst time ever for romance” she stated. Carol is sick and tired of conventional love rules dictated by modern society and phones. “I don’t want to play any more stupid games! It’s not possible that if he’s replaying after two hours, I have to respond after four because otherwise, it seems that I care too much”
Dominik, 20. Airport management student. “I like the feeling of waiting for a reply, but I get anxious If the other person isn’t replaying after one day. I would think I got ghosted” Dom thinks that in 2020 everything is immediate because of the phones, but exactly because it’s a fast way of communicating that people do not fight anymore to get to know or meet the other person.
Benny, 19, is studying Business and finance. “I like texting because it is very quick and immediate, but I prefer meeting in-person way more. You can understand better the personalities, or you can just notice small details of the behaviour, which unfortunately you can’t read via text”
Carolina, Dominik and Benny are young love seekers. They don’t care about what society dictates and even if 2020 it is a hard time for loving, they are still looking for a person who looks at them in the face and not through a screen.
Hard times for those who believe in love.
How does a 2020’s love story sound like? Press play to listen!
By Benedetta Giorgianni